Ddlg

Trust in our dynamic

Trust in the bedroom is easier than trust in life.

A true statement in how I believe I show trust.

img_2407Another true statement.

When I met daddy I told him that I wanted to let go of it all. “I want those choices taken from me”.. and in my case “for me”.  I want a man that can silence my mind, and understand me enough to make the hard choices in life for me.

I say these words but know that they aren’t words that I have been living up to completely.  Daddy and I met under extenuating circumstances which led to our relationship moving at a much faster speed than most would consider rational.  With that being said our dynamic hasn’t flourish into what we always dreamed that it could be.  We are still learning each other, our likes, dislikes, quirks as individuals in the relationship.  Let alone as a couple.

Trust has been a hard thing for me to relinquish, and for that our dynamic doesn’t thrive and move forward.  Anxiety controls a good part of my being and when it takes control trust suffers greatly.

We have started a new rule that when I shave my pussy that it must be inspected by daddy before it can be considered completed.  Sunday night daddy had me blind folded and spread across the bed.  He touched my pussy beginning the inspection, at which time I flinched and closed my legs.  Rightfully so this resulted in a slap to both my legs and both legs forcefully reopened so he could continue.  I am not embarrassed around daddy by any means, but I was very disappointed in myself for not trusting daddy and closing my legs upon receiving his touches.  This is something that I have vowed myself to work on.

Upon inspection I will count until I feel the warm touches of daddy, at which time I will count louder in my head until I have comforted myself enough to enjoy the feather light touches daddy always uses to drive me crazy.

I want so badly to trust daddy with all of my being, I work daily to trust daddy with all that I am. Daddy has voiced an opinion that he would one day like to be at a point in our relationship that without hesitation he will be able to request a command and I will immediately respond by doing so. I thrive to reach this goal for both daddy and myself.  I too wish to be at this point some day.

“He’d asked for her trust.  Had told her to put her faith in him.  That he’d come to know her boundaries, her needs and her desires better than herself.  If this was going to work she had to do just that.”

A quote from a book that I am currently reading.
A quote that rings through my head every time I remember daddy’s hopes and dreams for blind trust.

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