Ddlg

Trust

“I want to try anal”
The first line of me putting my entire trust in daddy last night.

“Are you sure, baby girl?”
“Yes daddy”

He was so unbelievably gentle with me, I couldn’t have asked for anything better.

It all starts with a trip to the sex store to purchase new lube to help with our new adventure. We found what we needed and made our way home, ready to explore.

Daddy slowly rubbed himself completely with lube, then inserted a finger inside of my anus opening me wide, spreading lube inside ever inch.  Then I could feel the tell-tale sign of him pushing himself against my entrance.  Very gently he made his way inside of me, slowly pushing deeper and deeper.  One sign of protest due to discomfort and he backed out pushing into my dripping wet vagina.  Whispering to me how proud he was of me, he relentlessly used my vagina.

“Do you completely trust me?”
“Yes daddy”
“completely?”

I feel him back out of me leaving me empty and waiting.  He returns climbing on top of me.  Next thing I feel is the cold plug entering my anus.  Not nearly the same painful invasion but still uncomfortable.  He plunges back into my vagina, giving me a completely full sensation.  More relentless pounding and quite a few permitted orgasms later, he asks me if I will allow him to re-enter my anus.  With permission he quickly removes the plug and slowly enters himself back into me.  This time without as much hesitation from me and not nearly as much discomfort.

Back and forth between my anus and vagina he went until I could feel and hear him empty his loud into my vagina.  A comforting feeling.  Then the weight of a very satisfied man falls onto my back, both of us exhausted and in each others loving arms.

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Bdsm

Growing pains

Daddy brought it to my attention yesterday that when we first met, we did connect on a personal level as well as a kink level, and now we are getting to know each other as individuals. 

Daddy and I met in March, moved in together by April, after only knowing each other for two weeks.  No wonder we are having a hard time coping with the difficult times that happen in every normal relationship.  We are still learning how the other is going to react and what to expect from one another. 
I am learning that daddy can be a little lazy, and craves attention.  White daddy is learning that I can be a bit of a nag.
  
It’s a good thing we love each other, and both want to work hard to make this work.
  

Bdsm

Finding our way 

Daddy and I are finding ourselves in a rough spot lately.  After the “situation” I think we are both working towards redefining what we want in the relationship as well as where we want it to go.  Lucky I think we are both on the same page that we at least want it to move forward as opposed to giving up.

Daily we are figuring out what we both thought the other person wanted, and realizing what is truly important to one another.

My side of the equation is still working towards regaining trust.  A hard thing to regain.  I am also working on realizing that daddy requires a lot of attention.  I am trying to give him more of my attention, that way he doesn’t have a reason to go looking elsewhere.  This is hard for me because it can impede on me keeping up with my daily tasks and getting things done before I have to go to work.  But it is something I am working on and trying to figure out how I will make work.

Daddy is working on realizing what things I actually need help with as his “little girl” instead of assuming what I need from him.  He is realizing things like, my eating habits are more important to work on than my cleaning habits.  I am a fairly good housekeeper [if I do say so myself] and giving me a chore list isn’t really necessary and was starting to become invasive.  I tend to not eat, that is something that I need help working on.

Bdsm · Ddlg

Lost in our relationship

Recently daddy and I have been dealing with what I will refer to as a “situation”.
It has left me feeling, exposed, vulnerable (not in a good way), scared, and lost.

I know that due to these feelings I have been backing away from him and closing myself off, I am so scared of opening up my heart and being hurt again.  I don’t want to feel foolish, scared, pain or betrayal.

Last night daddy tried to get intimate with me and I hadn’t realized how closed off I was until he touched me.  I didn’t get the normal electric sensation that usually runs up my spine that I normally get.  I felt fear and shivers.  I didn’t feel like I wanted to be touched in the way that he was trying to touch me.  I told him no and moved away from him.

Since last night I have had a mixture of feelings about the exchange.  I am not proud of myself for denying daddy his given gift, I feel scared that I am going to feel this way for a while and it’s not something that I want to feel.   I want to feel him pressed against me but I am scared that the same hands that pleasure me are also going to be the same hands that break me.  I also want to feel safe with him and that I can trust him with my entire life.  Its a difficult way to feel when I am being tugged in two directions.  I don’t feel the same intimate feelings with him when the trust is tainted.

I truly wish I knew how to vocalize how I felt about this entire situation, but I am so in love with this man that I can’t seem to be all he needs.  Before the “situation” and especially now that I am lost.

Ddlg

Jealousy Issues

One of my biggest flaws in a relationship is that I am a very jealous person..  Irrationally jealous even.  Self inflicted, anxiety controlled jealousy, that gets out of control and gets me into trouble occasionally.

Yesterday was one of those days.

Upon starting a fight with daddy that resulted in him getting out of the car and walking away from me, I later paid the price.

Face down on the bed, spanked until I was almost in tears.

“Who is my girl?”
“Me daddy”
“Who is it that I want to be with?”
“Me daddy”

This went on for a while, with tears welling up in my eyes and daddy refusing to take pity on me.  Then I hear the tell tale sound of a zippy being undone and within moments daddy was all the way inside of my slamming into me relentlessly.

“Who is my girl?”
“Me daddy”
“Who is it that I want to be with?”
“Me daddy”

In and out harder and harder he slams into me, constantly reminding me that my jealous thoughts are uncalled for and will not be dealt with.